


We'll Fall Disgustingly Fast

by loquaciousEscapist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 19:18:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/530781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loquaciousEscapist/pseuds/loquaciousEscapist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An adventure in ice skating, obliviousness, and pushing the boundaries on what it means to be a 'bro'.</p><p>Alternatively - Rose is gleaning enough fodder to fill several journals of both the psychological and wizard-fic persuasion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll Fall Disgustingly Fast

  
can you ice skate  
uh, i don’t know! i think dad took me when i was little, but i guess i wasn’t brilliant at it?  
cool want to go then  
ice skating?  
no dinosaur hunting  
you realise i’m now expecting you to take me dinosaur hunting, right?  
look the first dinosaurs i find that are a bit pissy ill get on the phone  
all egbert egbert quick this tyrannaraptor hurt my feelings kill it with fire  
i’m pretty sure that isn’t even close to being a thing.  
whatever are you coming or what  
sure, i guess!  
  
You’re not entirely sure why Dave is pestering you from across the table, but when you send your response you look up in time to see the slow smile dawn on his face before he manages to twist it into a more wry smirk – you roll your eyes at him.

idiot.  
fuck you i had something in my teeth  
  
**

There's a huge group of giddy teens at the rink when you finally get into the locker room, and you roll your eyes at one of the more obnoxious ones.

"Calm your man tits, Egbert, not all teenagers are called upon at thirteen to save the universes, this is what they're normally like," Dave mutters, scooting around one boy who is attempting to demonstrate what he calls an 'awkward whale'. You have no inclination to learn what that means, it sounds shitty.

You're lacing up your boots on one of the dripping wet benches (you'd refused to sit down after Dave had leaned towards you and whispered "somebody could've pissed on there and you'd never know." "Gross dude!") when a shadow descends over you.

"I just wanted to say that you're both so inspirational, taking your relationship out into the open like this." You sigh irritably - this isn't the first time you and Dave have been mistaken for a gay couple and it probably won't be the last - and you turn around to crush the inspiration right out of this person.

"I'm sorry, we're just - god _damn it_ , Rose!" She smirks at you, one pale brow raised. She looks innocent and lovely in her fluffy earmuffs and matching mittens, but this is what makes her all the more sneaky. "Stop pretending to be one of _those_ people, you know how annoying it is when people do that to you and Kanaya!"

"True," she admits, leaning against one of the lockers and zipping up her coat. "But I thrive off that flush that appears on the back of your neck whenever you're frustrated or embarrassed."

"You are a cruel woman, Lalonde," you grumble, standing up and wobbling a bit on your skates. "Why're you here, anyway?"

"Can't a girl whimsically choose to go ice skating on a crisp October morning?" You stare at her blankly. "Or, alternatively, Dave rang Jade and I about an hour ago and practically demanded our presence here. Judging by your expression, you weren't expecting company? Are we intruding on highly vaunted 'bro-time'?" She actually twitches her fingers in air quotes, and you snort at the effect it has on her mittens.

"No, you are not intruding on our 'bro-time'." You exaggerate the movement of your fingers, and she swats your shoulder. "I just didn't expect you two to be here! Where is Jade, anyway?" Rose is saved from responding by a pair of ice cold hands clutching your cheeks from behind.

"Guess whooooo?" 

"Well the voice sounds like Jade, but the temperature of your hands feels like the furthest depths of hell, so probably a demon come to claim my soul and also my heat." Jade peers round your shoulder, looping her arms around your neck.

"I thought hell was supposed to be hot?" She then proceeds to shove her hands down the front of your jumper, making you squawk manfully. 

"Look, if I give you my gloves, will you stop fondling my chest in an attempt to gain heat?"

"Well, _duh_." You regretfully hand over your toasty warm gloves, which you have been wearing for over an hour to make them extra warm - the cold of the rink makes the hair on your hands stand up almost painfully.

"All _right_!" She cheers, throwing her glove clad hands into the air before taking off towards the rink at full speed.

"Hey," Dave appears at your side suddenly, slightly unstable on his skates.

"Sup," Rose replies. "Any especial reason you determined on this as an outing, considering only one of us can skate?"

"You can skate?" You ask Rose; she shakes her head.

"When Mother offered me lessons as a child, I took this to mean she was passively implying that I was unsteady on my feet, so I took up the lessons and then pointedly refused to learn anything from them." You nod, not entirely understanding Rose's strange relationship with her mother, even now. "Jade, however, seems to be a natural." You all turn to watch as, sure enough, Jade whizzes along the rink, whooping with laughter as she skates around patrons clinging to the edge.

"Oh, man, there's nothing worse than clutching to the rim for the whole time," Dave shakes his head slowly.

"Yes, I can imagine never working away from the rim of a ring would be quite disappointing," Rose says, looking out at the rink. "I wouldn't know, of course, because I'm quite efficient at making my way to the center."

**

It takes you ten or so minutes, but eventually Rose and Jade manages to coax you into the center of the rink; you fall over quite a few times in the process, but once Rose muses on how this is probably quite similar to roller blading, you stop treating this like walking on a slippery surface of death and more like the fun social activity it's supposed to be.

Dave, however...

"Change of plans, let's go bowling instead," he says, clinging to the barrier as you skate over to join him.

"Dave, you're in the way of the toddlers," you say. You're just about to pull him forcefully away from the barrier when the toddlers in question actually skate _around_ him. You're pretty sure Dave would facepalm if he could actually bring himself to move his hands. "It's official - you are the loser, Dave, it's you."

"I'd rather be a loser than sprawled out on the floor. You know people lose fingers from doing this? I happen to be attached to my fingers, literally and metaphorically." You shake your head and put your hands on your hips. Are you emphasising the fact that you aren't holding onto anything or anyone? Probably. 

"Come on." You hold out a hand. "Do you trust me?" He glares at you.

"Don't you dare quote Aladdin at me, you fucker."

"Fine! Dave, you have forced my hand, literally." You cough, and then begin singing. "Take my haaaand, take a breaaaath, pull me cloooose, and take one steeep-"

"Shut up, shut up, you aren't even doing this ironically, I hate you _so much_ -" you vaguely hear two women mutter about 'cute kids in love', but you don't have time to quash people's homosexual projections, you have a bro to coax into the ring!

"Keep your eyes looocked on miiine, and let-" Dave slaps one of his hands into yours. "There we go, see, that wasn't so hard! Now the other one." He doesn't move. "Dave. The other one."

"Changed my mind."

"I have an arsenal of cheesy love songs about hands here, dude, don't make me use them." He sighs over dramatically, wrenches his hand from the barrier, and puts it in yours. "There we go!" 

You stand at the side of the rink for a few moments, hands clasped, before you realise something pretty important.

"Uh, you're going to have to let go of one of my hands if we're going to go anywhere."

"What, no, fuck that noise."

"I can't skate backwards!"

"Then we are unfortunately stuck here forever until someone takes mercy on us and pushes us towards the exit." You stare at him irritably, and he just raises his eyebrows above his shades.

It's right about then that a child loses balance right next to you, and shoots their arm out to clutch onto the nearest stable point, which just happens to be both Dave's leg and also not very stable. While the little girl skates away blissfully unaware, Dave topples about comically for a moment before crashing into you - you both tumble to the floor, Dave on top of you.

"Je- _sus_ Dave, I think you squashed my intestines! They probably look like those fruit rollups you used to get as a kid, you know, the really gross ones - Dave, are you all right, you look concussed!" He's staring down at you from four inches above your face, his glasses hanging crookedly off his nose so you can watch his eyes flick across your face.

"What? No, I'm fine." He scrambles off you quickly and you follow suit, checking to make sure your limbs are all there - Dave's made you slightly paranoid about rogue skaters slicing off parts of your anatomy. "Think I'm gonna go lick my wounds in shame. I've got blisters the size of golf balls." He begins making his way to the exit painfully slowly, and you skate up beside him.

"Haha, you're going to lick your blisters? Gross dude!" He snorts at you, looking much less concussed now. Good, you'd hate for your best bro to constantly have that look of shocked awe on his face, it made you feel queasy.

Not like, throw up queasy, but a good kind of queasy?

You don't know. It made you feel weird, anyway.

**

"Hey, where are your gloves?"

"Dave, I haven't been wearing my gloves for two hours, have you only just noticed I'm not wearing them _now_?" The four of you are sat on the benches in the locker room, past the point of caring that your butts are getting soggy as you pull off your boots. You'd managed to coax Dave back into the rink, and had even guided him past reaching distance of the barrier, but he was certainly no budding Brian Boitano. 

"I was a bit busy trying not to fall over to notice whether or not your hands are clothed, Egbert," he replies irritably, peeling off a drenched sock and wriggling his toes in relief. As he's pulling off the other sock, he looks over at where you're fumbling with your boot laces. He sighs, pulls on his trainers, and then holds his hands out. "Give me your hands."

"Huh?"

"I'm constantly warm, let me warm your hands up." You give him one of your hands without a second thought, and he instantly gets to chafing it warm. You try and undo your laces with one hand, but the feeling of warmth spreading through your fingers is too distracting.

"Ahem," Rose 'ahems', dragging your attention away from your tingly fingers. "If you two are done conducting your 'bromantic ventures', we're going to lunch, and Jade has offered to buy." Jade nods enthusiastically.

"Just let Cinderella take his glass boots off and we'll get going," Dave mutters, staring intently at your hand. Rose smirks.

"Remind me that I need to ring you later tonight, brother mine," she says, putting her chin in her hand and winking.

"Guh, stop with the winking, that shit stopped being cute when we were twelve and didn't know we were related."

"What did it turn into when you realised we were related?"

"Fuck no, you're not trapping me into saying something incriminating, my lips are staying shut. John, are you done yet?"

"You're still holding my hand!" You point out. You'd finally managed to take off your boots and slip on your trainers - while your left hand is still freezing and numb, your right is warm and feels really nice - sort of like Dave is your personal handwarmer or something.

"I'll take that as a yes," Dave says, standing up and pulling you with him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is unashamedly vent fic, and for that I apologise.
> 
> On a more productive note, if anyone good at drawing is interested in helping me out with a project in the works, head over to my [tumblr](http://loquaciousescapist.tumblr.com/) and drop me a line for more info!


End file.
